Keeping Up with Indian Football: A Saga of Drama, Demands, and Astrologers

This is a work of satire to make Indian football fans smile. Keep smiling. Don't take it seriously!

Move over Kardashians; there's a new reality show in town, and it's all about keeping up with the chaos that is Indian football. With more plot twists than a soap opera and more drama than a Shakespearean tragedy, this is one series you won't want to miss. Here's a sneak peek into the thrilling episodes of "Keeping Up with Indian Football."

Episode 1: Quest for more preparation

The story starts after India’s heroic triumphs in the Intercontinental Cup and SAFF Championship in July where Igor Stimac, the enigmatic coach of the Indian national team, publicly appealed for more time to prepare his team, including for the upcoming Asian Games 2023. Just like Kim Kardashian's quest for more screen-time, Stimac wanted more preparation time for his squad.

Stimac's plea was a masterclass in persuasive rhetoric. He argued that Indian football needed more room to breathe, more time on the field, and less rushed preparation. In his impassioned speech, he declared that the Indian football team needed more time to prepare for the upcoming national team games in order to be a footballing nation and churn out favourable results at the showpiece event, the AFC Asian Cup 2023, which is scheduled to take place in January next year. His appeal resonated with some, who saw it as the coach's desperate attempt to level the playing field.

Episode 2: Aggressive behaviour, Demands and Threats

Stimac didn't stop there; he threatened to leave his position if his demands for a break weren't met. It's like an episode of high-stakes poker, where the coach went all-in and dared the Indian football authorities to call his bluff. The media couldn't get enough of this cliffhanger. Would Stimac really walk away from the Indian national team, leaving them in turmoil? Or was this just another dramatic twist in the Indian football saga?

His ultimatum sent shockwaves through the footballing community. Fans were left wondering if they were about to witness possibly the biggest coaching departure in Indian football history. It was a gamble that had everyone on the edge of their seats, reminiscent of a classic Hollywood thriller.

Episode 3: Agreement sealed but the battle continues

The All India Football Federation (AIFF) partially agreed to Stimac's demands, granting extended breaks before India's games. It's almost as if the AIFF was trying to keep the peace in this football-themed reality show. While they conceded some ground, the battle was far from over.

AIFF officials were caught in a precarious balancing act, torn between appeasing their enigmatic coach and structuring the footballing calendar. The negotiations behind closed doors could have filled an entire season of reality television on their own.

Episode 4: The Asian Games Dream

The AIFF decided to lobby the Indian Olympic Association and the Indian government in a battle for the inclusion of their football teams at the Asian Games. It's like a political thriller with footballs instead of ballots. The authorities finally agreed and AIFF geared up to name a strong squad.

The fight for Indian football's inclusion at the Asian Games was a David and Goliath story. The AIFF, like a plucky underdog, fought tooth and nail against the bureaucratic giants with a storm of support from Indian football faithfuls on social media.

Fair play to the AIFF and its office-bearers, their commitment showcased the lengths the organization was willing to go to promote the sport. The decision to include football was hailed as a victory for the beautiful game and the stage was set for an epic showdown at the Asian Games.

Episode 5: Antagonists and Framed Villains: The ISL Clubs 

Enter the Indian Super League (ISL) clubs, the antagonists of our story. They refused to release Indian players, citing scheduling conflicts between national team games and the ISL. A 'club versus country' debate erupted, with the clubs holding the trump card – the right to keep their players during non-FIFA window games.

The ISL clubs were portrayed as the villains in this saga, prioritizing their interests over the nation's. The drama escalated as the players found themselves caught in the crossfire, torn between club loyalty and national duty. The stakes were high, with fans left to wonder how this clash would end.

Episode 6: The Passport Heist

In a shocking twist, during India’s assignment, Khel Now CEO Ashish Negi revealed that on Igor Stimac's orders, the team manager collected the passports of players bound for the Asian Games. It was a desperate move, reminiscent of a heist movie, as AIFF continued to negotiate with the clubs.

The passport collection scene was straight out of a spy thriller, with players surrendering their travel documents like secret agents on a covert mission. It was a desperate attempt to ensure that the selected squad would be available for the Asian Games, regardless of the clubs' objections. The tension was visible as the clock ticked down to the tournament.

Episode 7: Stubborn ISL Clubs and diplomatic loss of AIFF

Unfortunately, for Stimac and the AIFF they failed to convince the stubborn ISL clubs. The players were sent back to India, their passports locked away, as the nation watched the football drama unfold with bated breath. It was a heartbreaking moment, akin to the climax of a dramatic tragedy, where the hero's efforts are thwarted by external forces.

The failure to secure the players for the Asian Games left a void in the national team line-up. The dream of competing with a full-strength squad was shattered, leaving fans disappointed and disheartened. It was a chapter that showcased the complexities and challenges of managing Indian football.

Season Finale: Astrology amid Chaos 

Meanwhile, a new story about an astrologer surfaced in the media. This plot twist took a hilarious dig at the previous office-bearers of the AIFF, leaving the audience in stitches.

The astrologer's appearance was comic relief amidst the chaos. It satirized the absurdity of relying on astrology in the world of professional sports. The media had a field day with this unexpected turn, poking fun at the unpredictability of Indian football's administrative decisions.

"Keeping Up with Indian Football" promises to be the binge-worthy reality show of the season, filled with passion, politics, and passport drama. Will Igor Stimac get the time he desires? Will Indian footballers finally get their shot at the Asian Games? Tune in next time to find out, as the football rollercoaster continues to thrill and confound fans across the nation. From ultimatums to astrologers, Indian football has truly embraced the art of the dramatic plot twist.