A piece of satire not intended to hurt anyone. . . Hope you guys have fun reading this and leave your reviews in the comments’ section. . .
On the afternoon of 15th March 2017, I read the news of Babul Supriyo being appointed as the Vice President of the U-17 World Cup Organizing Panel. I was a jubilated and excited, because a move like this and ONLY THIS, could take Indian football ahead.
For people who do not know, and I’m sure there aren’t any, Babul Supriyo is an Indian singer hailing from Asansol, West Bengal and has sung for the Bengal and Orissa movie industry. Babul joined politics, as the entire nation already knows, in 2014 and was victorious from Asansol in the 2014 Lok Sabha elections on a BJP ticket. That’s praise-worthy as the man contributed one to the 335 other seats BJP won out of 543 available.
When on song, Babul is a brilliant man-handler
Coming back to the all-important news, I was simply overjoyed and teary-eyed at his appointment as the Vice-President. I mean, I’ve seen him play at celebrity events and he’s simply mouth-watering. If he hadn’t been a singer or a politician, Babul could’ve given Sunil Chhetri a run for his money. If you don’t believe this, try searching ‘Babul Supriyo playing football’ on YouTube and you would find his quality.
I assume you’re already done doing the above-mentioned step; I would like to tell you that he’s so good that YouTube wants to keep the viewer safe from dying from amazement and thus, there are no footballing videos of his. I was thinking of his preparatory communication with other members of the panel.
BS: “What, according to you, is the more important part in the reconstruction going on in all stadiums?”
Others: “We’ve taken care of a lot of stuff like quality of the pitch, security, water and food and seating arrangements. Sir, it would be nice if you throw a little more light on that.”
BS: “The stage near the stadium. Should be WiFi enabled so that I can get my lyrics absolutely right, should be strong enough for me to stand and sing, and should be able to hold at least 3000 people who’ll come over running after my performances just before the game.”
Others: ‘NOTED, SIR.”
If media sources are to be believed, Babul Supriyo sent a three-lined letter to Prime Minister Modi for his appointment, which stressed on his learning of the words, Bondhugon, Mitron and Friends, known to be Modi’s favourite, in two major Indian languages and Hindi. Babul’s connection with football is very strong as he was born in Kolkata and. . . (You question him? Who’re you dude?)
The exclusive letter was written by Babul Supriyo a.k.a Bablu to Prime Minister Narendra Modi
For people who took to Twitter and wished him luck, I send my truckload of love. For people who questioned him, are you out of your mind? Do you know anything about sports in the country other than cricket? The star of CWG 2010, Suresh Kalmadi, was recently made life-president at IOA after he was allegedly involved and went to jail in a scam worth only 70,000 crores. This is how India is run and you too, should get used to it. (Kalmadi resigned from his honorary post later)
OTHER OPTIONS: HAS INDIA GONE YOLO?
While traveling in a bus the same evening, two guys were discussing that Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore or Bhaichung Bhutia could’ve been better choices. This pained me and left me bruised mentally and emotionally. Where is the youth of the country heading in terms of understanding politics?
I call out to the youth of the country who feel the same. What has Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore done for sports? He has only won Olympic silver, various others medals and is a Minister of State for Information and Broadcasting. He’ll also taller than our Sports Minister Vijay Goel and there can be a feeling of inequality in his mind while functioning, and thus, Supriyo wins it hands down here.
Talking about Bhaichung, I agree to the fact that he knows football. But does he know politics? The Sikkimese Sniper lost from the Darjeeling constituency on a Trinamool Congress ticket. That pushes him out of the reckoning altogether. While both options are out, Babul stands out on all fronts and can be the best option for heading the country on such a huge platform. He has defied all odds (Read: Subramaniam Swami).
The Bengal’s shining star has recently been issued an arrest warrant by an Alipore magistrate under Section 509 IPC (word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman) which is simple imprisonment for up to an year, or fine, or both. Babul has refused to comment on the legal discourse and I stand beside him as the lady in context ‘spewed venom’ on him and NaMo Ji (his exact words).
Babul absolutely adores Modi Ji and will do anything for him; like I would do anything for a 2-week off job
My media friends at The Quint and Scoopwhoop missed out on this, but I didn’t. Supriyo, on his Twitter account, has thanked Praful Patel for the appointment and also wrote, “If you love carom, u will teach yourself how 2(to) put the coins in the pockets. If I have ever loved soccer, I will find my way too-with your wishes.” If you couldn’t find confidence, conviction and humility in that statement, you’re either from the Congress or from the AAP, or you’re surely a Gayatri Prajapati fan.
I know this part is not needed, but I’ll still say it to prove my conviction and utter devotion to the singer. Babul Supriyo is as ready for the job as Gayatri Prajapati was for an SP-loss, as Rohan Gavaskar is (still) for his Test debut and I was for my boards and college exams; and now, I’m a journalist, and so you can get your deduction straight. If you do not agree to the points, you should pack your bags, stick an anti-national tag on your head and keep yourself out of the country from 06th to 28th October, as Babul will be on fire then.